When we experience painful things others tell us to move on. And even though they are right it isn’t that easy.

I’ve tortured my brains trying to find the answer why some people are hurting you so much. Why they have that effect on you. Every minute is a gift and a heavy burden at the same time. Cancer changes you because it confronts you with yourself. And I’m not an easy girl to fight.

So when people think less of me because I don’t work they have missed the tremendous amount of work that I’ve spent on getting better, dealing the extra problems of getting ill and my full time job as a mother. How sick I’ve been; I’ve never doubted a moment, never turned my back on my kids.

And therefore my kindness is also my weakness. No matter how much rational I’ve been; words and thoughts don’t kill you, but they hurt. The fact that some people have serious empathy or affection problems cause indirect extra grieve. Let’s face it dealing with cancer itself is painful enough and it really helps to have sincere and warm people around you. If you ever go through that face I hope you cherish the people who are really there to support you.

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