And that’s it. I escape into the night into this world of future. I can only go forward and never turn around.

I’ve been Nordic walking; but it has been too much. Headache and stomach protest. My friend and I had been for a coffee break at the Diner in the park. I was happy.

Now I’m in bed and I want the headache and misery going away. I fear the dizziness; I fear the death rehearsals. I hate this nauseous fainting. I’ll take a painkiller and hope my sleep prevent it from getting worse.

On my couch I feel save. I learn and teach myself to be brave. To live another forty years at turtle space.

I escape into the night into this body-less world where no pain reminds me of the brutal reality. From couch to bed.

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