There’s one thing that makes people and in this case my kids more complex beings than animals; reasoning. Besides that the ‘all or nothing attitude’ and unreasonableness.
As a mother I have to be an educating judge; both motivating my decisions as well as mirroring their behavior and attitudes towards others. It’s a tough job; especially if one of the two lacks more self reflection than the other. And empathy is rare. A source of conflicts is born. Sometimes I just…
And their solutions always are non cooperative or a win-win for both parties. Further a lack of creativity to come up with solutions. It’s as if the biggest mouth (wants to) get(s) all. I need all my chameleon skills to adapt to all variations in situations.
But I guess I’ll have to make a few simple rules to guide the quarrel process; that addresses their behavior. And I think that ‘if you don’t treat my authority with respect; the other automatically wins’ will do the trick and thus unreasonable, aggressive and non respectful behavior towards mother-judge will eventually alter in more cooperative behavior. I guess it is a little game theory here. Like the prisoners dilemma.
Okay I could make a matrix of all the options; but I think raising kids must be practical and in the here and now. Although I can analyze it only for myself and learn from it. And thus I think that ‘treat others the way you liked to be treated yourself’ must be printed on my wall. I definitely did not get the easiest family in this life time. It behaves as lose sand everybody on its own island. I can’t remember these kinds of conflicts in my youth. A mixed family is quite different than a females-only-family I guess.
….And the kids must snap out of the baby-mommy state into the I-grow-up-and-take-resonsibility-state. Who says transitions are easy?