In my sleep I fainted; feeling whatever fainting is goIng through my half conscious mind. The body – my machine – is out of order and I am obsessed with it’s malfunction. In contrary what guru’s may tell you quitting is not realy an option for me.

The plateau as I call the faints mark the running out of carbohydrates in my body. As soon as I must metabolize my fat reserves, my body protests. So hungry and stressed became my day.

In the meantime I collected my new recipes. One new green juice and one simple veggie plus healthy lunch. (A veggie plus meal is 4/5 part vegetable and 1/5 fish or meat. It has so much vegetables in it that it is more like being a vegetarian).

Anyway all the stress and frustration are fueled in my diet living healthy plan that I can’t stop. Even though I bark like a sea lion, get migraines and suffer from fainting and increased sleep disorder. It doesn’t matter anymore. Because it keeps me alive. I have no brakes in my system. It is 100 percent dedication or nothing. Running is just having enough adrenaline to live. And I don’t have it in abundance. Softness is in my genes, care is my predisposition.

I made green pea soup. A new recipe…but it is like I can’t digest it properly. Anyway my stomach and intestines where pretty upset about my food decision. With some fantasy you can imagine what happened.

Writing about a diet, while dealing with food allergies is not easy. There’s no proper way to anticipate the instability.

Anyway enough for today. I write in the middle of the night and I need to go back to sleepy dream land. Albeit it more ghost land and dark nightmares.

Repeated Living – a company specialized in dark ways of life; small agony adventures and copy catting role play.

I love my mind….creative creation is nothing more than combining the odds.

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