Back in bed….hey I survived! Another death rehearsal. Now only the aftermath will bring sweat and coldness. My skin was burning as if it heated itself up. I felt like a burning candle. Tiny droplets of sweat starts dripping from my forehead. I call this the cleaning cooling shower stage. Soon the water is poring from everywhere.

I long to my bed, I ask God why he gave me this body, I ask myself if I ever want to return as a female again?

The main suffering is over; the dizziness gone and I calculate if it is a wise decision to travel to the hospital for my appointment. Maybe if I take another medicine pill it will ease my mind. All will depend on the shower.

And so I guess I will drop most of the food and switch to protein drinks. As food is also a trigger. No beans, pepper, rind, diary.

The train brings the first early birds to the railway station; and a motorcycle flashes by beneath my window. Chill in bed and I survived another agonizing early morning.

Nobody knows my strange condition. And so I realize doctors are only human and there’s still a lot they don’t know.

I’m going to close my eyes and let sleep do the rest of the healing process. That is if anything has to be healed or balanced….

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